Bad Vibes

Charaker and Yesternight

2010-04-24T09:50:00.004-04:00

These are a few of our favorite Elle-isms. We just don't have the heart to correct her. That may be poor parenting, but hey, we call the shots!

Elle is becoming more and more articulate as her vocabulary expands. I have even started to notice that her Southern drawl is subsiding. Cute to others, aggravating as hell to me. I never wanted anyone to make fun of her or more importantly think that she is anything less than intelligent.

Charaker = Character with a heavy emphasis on the "ker." Most common usage is in reference to the Disney gang. "Hey Daddy, which charaker do you think will be at Animal Kingdom today?"

Yesternight is even better! Elle has been saying it since she was at least 3. Only in the last few years have we learned the true meaning. When we asked her before she would shrug or just say "I dunno." Now when we ask her she says "the other night ago." I love how unspecific it is! Really it could be yesterday night or two to three nights ago!!!

Elle: Daddy have you ever tried the peach shake from Chick Fil A?
Me: Yes
Elle: When?
Me: Yesternight
Elle: You mean the other night ago?

God, I love her!

Cheetahs 22 - Gorillas 19!!!

2009-09-27T08:59:00.009-04:00

I know, I know. We aren't supposed to keep score and considering we don't have goalies it is a difficult task!

This week the Cheetahs faced a more evenly matched opponent. We got down 2-0 in the first minute. It seemed all too familiar after the Thundercats and their team of ringers jumped on us 7-0 last week. Low and behold, the Cheetahs scored the next 7-8 goals and never relinquished the lead! I am super-proud of everyone (including the Gorillas) - every kid scored!

GOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!

Last year, Elle never scored. Grant it, Upward used goalies in U5. Elle would not be denied on this day. Not one, but two goals! Beyond that, she assisted on a few others. Why is that a big deal? Have you watched micro soccer lately?! Very little passing going on!

The improvements from week one to week two were evident. They were no longer timid - heeding my advice to "play through the ball" and pass.

Up next - The Dawgs!

West GA Futbol Club Cheetahs

2009-09-13T22:28:00.006-04:00

This year I decided that Elle would switch from Upward to County soccer. Douglas County and Carroll County merged this summer to form West Georgia Futbol Club. I figured if Elle decided this is a sport she wanted to stick with and excelled in, we should leave Upward. Upward was great. Very well organized. Much more so than WGAFC, but part of it is the merger. WGAFC has Academy and Select teams (the main reason for leaving), but Elle won't be eligible until U-10.

I am coaching Elle's team again this year. I let her decide the team name - the Cheetahs. I pushed hard for the Turtles or Squirrels. There are only 5 kids on each team (9 total). Each team only has one girl. I figured that it would be difficult for Elle to run with the boys, but she has done well.

This Saturday the Cheetahs played the Thundercats. It was a humbling first 10 minutes. I think we were down 5 or 6 zip before we finally scored. The Thundercats didn't have a girl playing this weekend, which didn't help! The good news is that we played them even in the second half, the bad news is we lost 9-5. Oh wait, just like Upward, we aren't supposed to keep score! I am not a fan of that or the fact we don't use goalies at this age (Upward does). We also don't have throw in's or goal kicks. Oh well.

Here is to another great season, Elle. I am very proud of you!

What Is In A Number?

2009-09-13T21:50:00.004-04:00

Apparently a lot this summer.

Last month, mom turned 69 on August 14th. Mom has been known to celebrate her birthday the entire month of August in past years! With that in mind, I dubbed her birthday "The Summer of 69." Oddly enough, her birthday was the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, which, as you know was during the Summer of 69.

This past week, Elle received her new soccer jersey. I think I was anticipating what number she would get more than she was. Of all numbers, she received 72. Her first game was on Saturday, September 12th which was Dad's 72nd birthday. I was born in '72.

I guess I should play the lottery.

Beautiful, Precious & Sincere

2009-08-17T21:34:00.003-04:00

Although all apply to my daughter Elle, I am afraid that is not the purpose of this post.

Given names. First names. Forenames.

First Elle told us of a girl named Beautiful after her first day of Kindergarten. Then there was another girl - Precious. Today I found out that there is a little boy in her class named Sincere.

And to think that I thought it was vain that you named your child after yourself...

Offseason Insurance Policy

2009-05-16T19:16:00.003-04:00

I really hate this time of year. Don't care much about baseball and NBA playoffs. NHL playoffs are better, but haven't really spent much time watching.

The Georgia Spring Football game was a bore - giving little to look forward to this fall.

Although we are a good five months away from College Basketball, I am eating, sleeping and breathing Big Blue basketball as the spring signing period winds down next week.

You see, I used to follow the Cats like a DeadHead in the mid-90's. Rick Pitino was a god. He took over for that drunk Eddie Sutton after the whole Emory package scandal and the death penalty. He recruited three in-state boys and a stud from NYC to turn the program around. Now all the Unforgettables jerseys hang from the rafters (Mashburn, Woods, Pelphrey, Farmer and Feldhaus). I can still remember that spring day in 1997 shortly after losing in the title game. I went to Ricky P's book signing at the Ansley Mall Chapter 11 store. I told coach that "no matter what you decide, I appreciate everything you have done to turn around the program." A few weeks later he left for the Celtics. The Celtics had the most ping pong balls in the lottery. They lost out to San Antonio in the Tim Duncan sweepstakes. Pitino would later say that he would have never left UK if he knew he wasn't able to draft Duncan.

What does all this mean? April Fools brought us Coach Cal. He is an absolute rockstar. He has said all the right things. Bring back former players - check, recruit the best players - check plus, plus, plus. Rivals and Scout.com rank the recruiting class number 1 and they are still in the mix for top point guard John Wall. Many believe that this class will supplant the Fab Five from Michigan. Are you friggin' kidding me? I had to be talked off the ledge this spring! For all the things Billy Clyde Gillispie did wrong (sleeping with a player's girlfriend, lack of in-game adjustments and PR skills, etc.) - all is now forgotten.

From N.I.T to the Final Four? It's possible. Maybe even probable. October can't get here fast enough...

Jesus in Prison

2009-04-05T11:59:00.002-04:00

Elle has been learning a lot about Easter at Pre-K over the past week. As a Catholic school drop out, I am not the most informed about the story of Easter.

Elle: "Why is Jesus in prison?" Laura: "Elle, do you mean Jesus is Risen?" Elle: "Uh, huh."

Further proof kids say the funniest things!

Pro Choice At Age 5?

2009-03-29T21:40:00.003-04:00

Each night when Elle gets in her bed to go to sleep, she will ask Laura and I questions while we lay in our bed. Usually we get things we as parents can handle. Let's just say we weren't ready for what she sprung on us a few nights ago! For whatever reason, Elle obsesses about not wanting to have a baby. Question: " What do you do if there is a baby in your tummy and you don't want it in there anymore?" Me to Laura (slightly shocked and laughing): "Oh shit, what are we going to tell her?!" Jason to Elle: "Elle you don't need to worry about those types of things." Laura to Elle: "If you don't want it, it doesn't have to happen." Elle(whining): "But, I really don't want one in there."

I have a feeling this discussion is far from over...

Why Winning Isn't Everything

2009-02-07T18:49:00.004-05:00

I changed things up a bit this year. I joined three fantasy football leagues. In addition to Greater Atlanta Fantasy Football League (GAFFL), I jumped at the chance to compete against some guys my buddy Michael used to work with in Claims and another league with a bunch of guys I used to work with in Underwriting. I got smoked in the non-money league of Underwriters. I think I finished 3-11.

Different story in GAFFL and Claims league. I rode the arms of Kurt Warner and Jay Cutler, the legs of Marion Barber, Frank Gore, Clinton Portis, Steve Slaton and Marshawn Lynch, and the hands of Andre Johnson, Calvin Johnson, Larry Fitzgerald, and Steve Smith.

I had never before competed in the championship game. This year two championship games. Two championships!

The excitement was short-lived, however. I remember what happened when I got paid for making the playoffs last year. No one likes to pay up. They figure "I am going to get my monies worth"! This year was no different. Can't wait to see the teller's face. See for yourself.

White Castle

2009-01-24T22:31:00.006-05:00

I have been eating White Castle hamburgers for as long as I remember. Yes, they are different than Krystal's! It is all about the steamed buns, grilled onions and Dusseldorf mustard! I refuse to eat the frozen sliders from the grocery. They aren't near as good. My Uncle Doug came down last weekend for Elle's Bday and for the UK/UGA game. I begged him for weeks to "pick up a crave case, stuff them in an insulated bag and drive them down from Lexington, KY. Not only did he come through, he even brought 97 packets of Dusseldorf mustard! We have joked for years about breaking the Billips family record of 12 in one sitting set by my Uncle Charlie years ago. Last Thanksgiving I ate, gulp, 11 and decided not to push it. I had high hopes of breaking the record by eating half of the Crave Case. I didn't come close. I ate 2 luke warm ones before we left for Elle's party and 7 afterwards. Next time!

Just a few of the packets of mustard
Crave Case!

Creeker Holiday Hoedown

2009-01-24T21:21:00.012-05:00

Special thanks to Spence and Barb for hosting the Creeker Holiday Hoedown on January 3rd. It was great to act like I was 16 again. Everything remains the same at Spence and Barb's house. That's what makes it so special. There it all was...pool, beer pong, junipers, orange couch, recliner with hidden nickel in it! I kind of regret bringing Guitar Hero World Tour Band Kit with me. It prevented us from catching up on all the old stories. That is not to say that we didn't have fun rockin' out the show. There is video floating around of Anne singing "Like a Virgin" and Evan singing "It's Still Rock and Roll To Me." Both had amazing stage presence! Todd did great with "Band On The Run." Kim was quite a performer and really showed her vocal prowess when we broke out American Idol. I think I did okay with Nirvana and Oasis. Unfortunately, Evan did not provide an "encore" for everyone to end the night!

"Some Might Say..."

Kim and Laura

Todd Johnson And Wings

"I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back!"
Rebekah and Wendy
Ev gets his beer pong on.

Owen, Evan & Todd measure up the pool table.

Christmas 2008

2009-01-02T12:17:00.010-05:00

It was a busy December. Elle couldn't wait for the Big Man to come to our house. There were many warnings of the naughty list and even a call or two by Santa and Mrs. Claus. December started with the State Farm Children's Christmas Party. This was Elle's chance to tell Santa what she wanted for Christmas. Perhaps she should have suggested a smoking cessation program and Crest White Strips for him!

Elle's Christmas program at MCA Pre-K featured her and her classmates in the Nativity. Elle was one of the horses. Not sure if the horses brought the frankincense or myrrh. After assembling on the alter, Elle and the rest of the Shining Stars class sang a variety of Christmas tunes.

Dad's Barbershop Chorus, Atlanta Vocal Project performed their Christmas show at Sandy Springs UMC. Jeff and Paul were able to make it up for the performance. This is one of my favorite pictures. Elle mimicking Granpa's singing face!

Elle and Paul horsed around during the intermission. They were singing that "move it, move it" song and doing their best to knock over the Christmas tree.

Elle and her prized possession - The Disney Monorail play set! If only Santa would have let us know that the track takes up half of the room!

Christmas contentment!

Play Your Guitar

2009-01-02T11:19:00.003-05:00

At the top of Elle's Xmas list this year was a "real guitar." I guess she got sick of the old Wiggles guitar she used to play until the age of 2 or the Hannah Montana guitar she recently became disinterested in. These videos were entirely unrehearsed. Laura and I had no clue what she was going to sing about.

"Play Your Guitar With Jesus" is an ode to The Wiggles "Play Your Guitar With Murray." I like how it morphs into "Play Your Guitar with Megan (nephews' girlfriend), Hello Kitty and Anybody."

The song "Nightmares" is a true original. Elle definitely is going to excel in something artistic. Her creativity amazes me each day. I like how "Nightmares" ends in a calming final verse of "Silent Night"! Bravo...Brava!

Field Trip To Xmas Tree Farm

2008-12-05T21:11:00.011-05:00

Elle's Pre-K class took a field trip to Happy Hollow Christmas Tree Farm today. It was about 39 degrees with a stiff breeze. Evidently the directions were wrong, therefore many kids arrived late...while we froze our butts off. Once all the kids were there, the teachers sent the kids running to find "the tree with candy canes on it." After a couple of class photos in front of the tree, each kid assisted the teacher with sawing the Leyland Cyprus (I thought these were used for hedge) tree down.

Don't Forget The Lyrics

2008-12-01T20:26:00.002-05:00

No, I am not talking about Evan's doppelganger, Wayne Brady's show! I have never been one who can listen to a song and memorize the lyrics. Laura and Elle can do it after a listen or two. I have always blamed it on early Michael Stipe indecipherable lyrics. I have been known to sing a wrong lyric or two.

One of my favorites of all time is when Owen sang "Changes come around real soon make us swimming in bed" from John Cougar's "Jack and Diane." For whatever reason I once thought that Elvis' "Return To Sender" was "three times December."

Elle has been listening to a lot of Christmas music lately. I bought the Burl Ives "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" CD recently and she has learned almost every word to "Jingle, Jingle, Jingle" and "There's always Tomorrow" (will blog on that later). We were driving home from Sam's last night listening to B98.5 since they play Xmas 2-4-7 when "Silver Bells" came on. I could hear Elle singing in the back seat, so I turned down the radio just in time to hear her singing "Silver-ware....silver-ware"!

Giving Thanks

2008-11-27T19:49:00.005-05:00

We didn't travel to Louisville, KY this year for Turkey Day. Instead we went to Bremen, GA and ate turkey with Laura's family. Last week, Elle had her Thanksgiving recital at MCA Pre-K. She and her classmates performed 3 tunes. Afterwards, we ate a small meal together.

We talked Elle's cousin, Kayleigh into wearing Elle's indian outfit from last year and pose for this pic. She was a good sport!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Creekers in Woodstock

2008-11-22T20:27:00.005-05:00

Special thanks to Dan and Wen for hosting 25 of us plus a gaggle of other neighborhood kids today! It was great to see Conor and Owen who we don't get to see as often. It didn't take 5 minutes before all the old stories were retold.

Creeker Kids

Creeker Kids cutting up!

Tiller and Elle hamming it up!

Jacob Gallagher IS the Heatmiser!!!

Evan Looks Like Everyone

2008-11-16T10:00:00.014-05:00

Us Creekers have always felt that Evan could be a Hollywood double. Reason being - Evan looks like everyone.

Reason #1: Evan looks like Sean Penn

Reason #2: Evan looks like Josh Charles (aka "Knox Overstreet in Dead Poets Society)

Reason #3: Evan looks like Wayne Brady

Reason #4: Evan even looks like the kid on the Pampers wipes package

So there you have it. Based on this well-rounded, well-researched study, Evan DOES look like everyone! Heres looking to next weekends' Creeker Reunion!!!

Halloween 2008

2008-11-01T10:34:00.006-04:00

I am so glad Elle likes Halloween as much as I do. I am starting to get worried that my little girl is goth in training, though. Her favorite ride at Disney World is The Haunted Mansion. Her favorite movie of late has been The Nightmare Before Christmas and one of her favorite shows has been The Addams Family. She is already asking to be Wednesday Addams next year. She has the dark hair and pale skin down pat already.

It was a good night of trick-or-treating. We left out after the first wave of kids came by the house. We left a bowl of candy on the porch along with the Halloween playlist I created playing on the boom box. Really wish I could have seen the faces when the transition from Disney World Halloween music to The Misfits occurred! I was a bit disappointed by the number of "blacked out" houses that were not participating, but Elle didn't know any different. If only we were Mexican so that we could celebrate Dia De Los Muertos tomorrow. I love their traditions.

Circle Of Life

2008-10-19T22:28:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned in the previous post, the owners of our condo let us extend our vacation two extra nights at no charge. Our last day at the beach was a bit cool in the morning, but perfect once the sun came up. Elle got to play with her friend Bailey from "Tucky" again today. They will soon be pen pals when we get home.

The Circle of Life. No, not a Lion King reference. Unfortunately, we witnessed a lady drown at the beach today. She was scuba diving with a group that she regularly went diving with. Apparently they did not use the buddy system or use diver down floats. The worst part of it all, my mom thought she heard the lady yell for help. Mom went to the lifeguard to tell him and he said that she is part of a dive group, "she is fine." Everyone kept an eye on her and at times it seemed like she was swimming around. At least 10 minutes went by and finally a few of the divers came running down the beach and pulled her out of the water. There happened to be an EMT on the beach. After working on her for what seemed like an eternity, they airlifted her off the beach. Everyone has taken it hard. We are all second guessing what could have been done. I had actually left the beach around the time mom spotted her in the water. Laura called me on my cell while I was up in the room to let me know what was going on. Call it hokey as I know not everyone believes in premonitions, but I twice told Laura earlier in the week that I was going to save someones' life on the beach. I wasn't even there.

So we leave vacation having witnessed a death, but arrive home to the birth of Riley Megan. She is the granddaughter of Laura's friend and our neighbor, Roxanne.

Beach Update

2008-10-18T19:42:00.004-04:00

On Facebook last night, I mentioned that Laura and I overheard a group of three teenage boys looking for "prospects." We both howled, but then I got a little sick to my stomach thinking about my own daughter in, say, 10 years. This afternoon two of the three boys scored some prospects. As they walked by with two girls, I heard the blond-haired kid say "See we both have jobs and buy our own stuff." I am sure that won them over. Dickheads.

Back on the beach today, I am very thankful that the owners of the condo allowed us to extend our stay until Monday. I think Laura and the owner have a thing for each other...maybe that is why we got the free extension!!! Weather has been great all week, but the surf has been rough. Today, it wasn't as hot (low 80's) and the water was clear and calm. For the first time all week Elle got a chance to play in the ocean.

Oh and this is a picture of a killer whale or maybe just a dolphin...

Elle The Little Fashionista Gets Inked and Painted

2008-10-12T21:50:00.006-04:00

This weekend the Navarre Beach Arts Festival is taking place. We went to something similar here in the spring. I think we got Elle a tie-dyed shirt with crabs on it then. Laura went early to check things out while we were at the beach (see previous post). Laura came back with a butterfly tattoo on her toe, not real, but Elle thought so. It was buy one get one free so it was Elle's turn next. She chose a hibiscus.

Next up, was face painting. (Editors note - I bailed after waiting 30 mins) An hour later, I introduce to you Madame Butterfly...

God, I have my hands full!

Baptism At Sea....Introduce A Little Anarchy

2008-10-12T21:11:00.010-04:00

Laura, Elle and I are at Navarre Beach for a little beach getaway. My folks met us down here for the week. It was nearly 6 years ago we were married here. This weekend the weather has been nice. Overcast at times and windy (sorry Dan) and highs in the low to mid 80's. We headed down to the beach this morning and as we were setting up our beach chairs and umbrellas, we saw a commotion up the beach. Dad, Elle and I decided to see what was going on.

Who would have known? First Baptist Church of Navarre was holding baptisms at sea.

We did not partake, but it was interesting nonetheless. Speaking of interesting. Is Heath Ledger/Joker the new Tupac Shakur? I haven't see the newest Batman movie. Heath seems bigger in afterlife. As I walked back from the baptisms, I saw this on the pier.

"Introduce A Little Anarchy" with a photo of Heath as Joker. Note Dad and Elle in the background. What a weird few minutes.

Undefeated, Untied, Unbelievable!

2008-10-04T16:02:00.004-04:00

I love that headline from the AJC describing the 1980 UGA National Championship season. It also describes Elle's first soccer season. I can't believe the season is over! 7-0 and an aggregate score of 60-15. There were only a few close calls. Mason and Daylon scored 75% of the goals with Preston and Jonathan scoring the remaining few. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I coached, I couldn't get my girls (Elle, Sophie, and Isabella) a goal. Grayson, the other coaches' son, only made it to a few games this year and wasn't able to tally a goal either. Elle played really well considering that most kids were a year or so older and most teams had a hotshot boy who dribbled circles around everyone. Until next year! Daddy is very proud of you!!!

I Don't Want To Be Buried...

2008-09-26T21:36:00.007-04:00

In a Pet Cemetery. We spent Labor Day weekend in Waynesboro with my brother Jeff and his family. Jeff's first job with the GA DNR was at Di-Lane Plantation. Di-Lane was originally owned by Henry Berol (of pencil fame) and was a hunting retreat.

You see, Waynesboro is the bird dog capital of the world. Di-Lane is haunted by the ghost of Henry Berol and I am guessing any number of his beloved bird dogs and horses buried in the cemetery above. I spent the night there in the mid-90's and can tell you something wasn't quite right.

For whatever reason, I have always remembered one of Henry's favorite dogs' name - Piccolo Pete. What a great friggin' name! "Petey Greatest FTD" (Field Trial Dog).

Go Dawgs!

2008-09-26T17:41:00.003-04:00

On the eve of the biggest game of the season (thus far), I figured I would share a little piece of history. I believe the photo was taken around the second week of June 1990. Just a few weeks after high school graduation and a month or so before I cleaned up and became a frat boy. My mom has always gotten a kick out of the fact that my middle name shows up as "Andre" (they ran out of space). I have always found solace in the fact that my middle name overshadows my Danzig-esque mullett.

Return Of The Rickenbacker

2008-09-24T19:59:00.004-04:00

I suppose if I was Finnish, I would have been the one accused of stealing Peter Buck's famed guitar September 9th in Helsinki after the show. Ten days later the perp or someone close to the perp turned it in just in time for the Luxembourg concert. Interesting that he has been playing the same guitar since the Chronic Town sessions in 1982. Welcome home Rickenbacker.

"My Gawd, A Freshman" - Munson Retires

2008-09-23T00:58:00.004-04:00

Wow. I had not taken the time to listen to Munson this season. I had heard he was calling people by the wrong name and referring to players as 'him'. Having grown up a Dawg and listening to Larry my whole life, I simply feel a void. I felt the same void in 2001 when UK's legendary Cawood Ledford ("Hello everybody") passed away. They just don't make them like they used to, never will.

Just Win Baby!

2008-09-13T19:09:00.003-04:00

Well the Flash moved to 4-0 with a come from behind 6-4 victory. Elle had two crucial saves and did a great job with her dropkicks from goal.

Winning isn't always pretty. Just ask the Dawgs. A win is a win. Sometimes championship teams win ugly, win lucky, they just find ways to win. Credit the Gamecock defense. Screw you Darth Visor! Throw that visor and smirk one more time for good measure!

How Many Big Macs Do You Eat If You Are OCD?

2008-09-10T22:29:00.003-04:00

Apparently 23,000. Have you read the news today about the guy that has eaten 2 all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun a day since May 17th, 1972? Good god. That was 2 weeks before I was born! Apparently he has only missed 8 days in 36 years. Once because of the death of his mom, once while out of town and could not locate a McD's (likely) and another due to winter weather. The last one put him over the edge. He now freezes up to 5 in the event that bad weather rolls into town. God, I thought I was weird.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/09/10/big.macs.record.ap/index.html

Yearbook Yourself

2008-09-02T23:12:00.004-04:00

I was introduced to Yearbook Yourself this past weekend by my step-nephew, Scott. Above I Yearbooked myself circa 1976. You thought Guitar Hero is a fun, drunken get together activity? Better try this out! Don't stop with yearbooking yourself as your own sex! I found I would be a pretty hot co-ed!

Quick Holiday Weekend Update

2008-09-01T22:09:00.005-04:00

It has been a busy two weeks - work and now travel. I have spent the last three days in Waynesboro celebrating my nephew, Paul's Bday. Later this week (TS Hanna forbidding) Elle and I head down to Orlando to the Mouses' house with my friend Chris and his daughter.

I wanted to post a photo of Elle and my nephew Paul taken yesterday by my Uncle Doug. I am kicking myself for leaving my camera in the car, but am eternally grateful to him for taking these great pics!

How Many Is Umpteen? Flash Win!

2008-08-24T09:22:00.012-04:00

Elle's soccer team won again yesterday beating the Blast by an undetermined amount of goals. The final score was officially Umpteen to 1. When I say 'undetermined' I truly lost count (and Upwards does not support keeping score).

I know my parents and grandparents had a lot of unique sayings (many of which are vulgar). My favorites from my grandmother Vivian (mammaw-pictured) were "Doesn't no sh*t from shine-ola" and "Dumber than owl sh*t."

So how many is umpteen? I am not sure how many people have even heard the term before. I think the first time Laura asked me how many it was I said "17." I say it doesn't matter. It is ambiguously fun!

G-N-I-L-L-E-P-S

2008-08-22T23:06:00.003-04:00

Elle is really interested in spelling out everything she reads and writes. The funny thing is that she probably still misses a letter here or there when she says her A-B-C's, but she can read and write virtually all the letters capital and lower case.

So here is the situation. Last weekend she made a birthday card and signed her full name backwards for the first time. She hasn't written anything backwards since. However, she is spelling things she sees backwards (like a Burger King sign). Do we have anything to worry about? Could it be a sign of dyslexia? Is she just entertaining herself?

Future Concert Promoter?

2008-08-17T21:46:00.006-04:00

Laura and I were watching Dan in Real Life earlier today. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Elle kept walking in and out of the room with her Barbie dolls. When I say Barbie dolls that includes various Disney Princesses, Hannah Montana (HM), and High School Musical (HSM) 'charakers.' I was half asleep on the floor watching the movie when I looked over to see the impending concert Elle had organized.

There are so many funny things about these pictures. First of all, I am impressed that Elle lined up all of the dolls in perfect rows of 5. No doubt will be OCD like her daddy one day. The background features Hannah Montana's Backstage playset, which Elle uses as a stage. What you miss in these pictures is the grand entrance by HM in the purple Barbie Porsche Boxster. Now it is time to dissect the 20 concertgoers. By my count I see 4 fully-nude princesses & Oliver from HM, one nude prince with a boot on (more on him in a future blog), and my personal favorite - Troy from HSM half-clothed wearing an apron!

You Gotta Hold Your Mouth Right

2008-08-16T22:27:00.006-04:00

I think my Dads' mom, Vivian was the one who started it. For as long as I can remember my Dad has made a funny face when he is a) concentrating on something; b) trying to pry something open; c) working on something intricate. It is a look that must be hereditary. Elle cut out a butterfly she colored the other night and I caught her doing it!

Week 1: Flash 6, Earthquake 2

2008-08-16T18:04:00.006-04:00

Ok, so you are not supposed to keep the score in Upward sports, but I am proud of our team. After two brief practices the kiddos gave it their all and scored a 6-2 victory. I really thought that there would be one huge clump of kids and a cloud of dust and not much scoring. I guess by playing 4 on 4 at this age it limits the traffic jams.

Elle started in goal this game. She pitched a shutout. Well, actually there were not any shots on goal during her 6 minutes. Thankfully Elle wasn't matched with Isabella and Sophie Grace. If so, they would have either been skipping around holding hands or picking daisies in the grass. They did get together at the end of the game to shake hands with the other team. Way to go Elle. Daddy is very proud of you!

Am I Cut Out For This?

2008-08-15T21:20:00.005-04:00

A couple of things you need to know first. Every time we pass the doc-in-the-box at the corner of Warsaw and Holcombe Bridge roads my daughter Elle asks me about the time I filmed a commercial there as a little boy. I have no idea how I got to do it...maybe a family friend from Dunwoody that was a nurse there. Basically, I sat on a bed and acted like my arm was broken while a Doctor was tending to me. Elle is obsessed with filming her own commercial with a fake broken leg now. So I really didn't have a broken arm, but I did break my wrist in 9th grade. I don't think I have ever told Elle that.

Fast forward to Thursday night's soccer practice. Myself and Coach Jeff are coaching ("sports ministering") a co-ed 4 and 5 year old team. This is Upward soccer. Not sure how things have been in the past, but it is a bit more about the church than it is the sport. That became rather clear when I received a postcard in the mail that said "Upward Soccer Sport Minister( formerly Coach) training is Saturday..."

Every Thursday we practice for one hour with an 8 minute water break/scripture in the middle. Each week, the kids are responsible for learning a short verse. If they are able to recite it, they earn a green Upward sticker to put on their poster. This week was scripture #1. The team sat indian-style on the ground while Coach Jeff asked the team if they studied the scripture. Elle was the only kid to recite it (pictured) verbatim. I was very proud of her as she bowed her head and spoke softly.

Coach Jeff went on to talk about the healing power of Jesus and asked the team if anyone had ever broken a bone. Oddly enough Elle and I were the only ones. Elle spoke up first. "I broke my little toe." Coach Jeff said "Coach Jason did you break a bone?" "Yes," I replied. "What did you do about it?", he asked. "I first went to the doctor (feeling the pressure) and then prayed to God to make it better." Coach Jeff started talking about Jesus' healing powers when I looked down at Elle who was muttering something. I squatted down next to her just in time to hear her say "He was acting." So there I was in front of the team being called out by my daughter, who, in her defense never knew I actually did break a bone. I almost peed down my left leg from laughter!!! Kids are absolutely hilarious!

I Am No Michael Phelps, But I Have A Rockin' Friendship Bracelet

2008-08-13T21:06:00.006-04:00

I hate Dunwoody Country Club. Actually I strongly dislike the stoner kids that taught swim lessons there when I was 3 or 4 years old. You see, if you didn't learn to put your head under water they would simply push it under for you. Net result = I never learned to swim.

Fast forward to age 12. I can remember the first time I put my head under and swam with both arms (rather than with one arm while the other pinched my nostrils closed). For you Creekers, it was at the pool on the 'old side'. I rarely went to that pool while it was open. I want to say the old side pool was open on the day that the new side pool was closed and vice versa. I am pretty damn proud that I taught myself to swim as so many people like our parents and grandparents never learned. It could have been me.

Within the next year or two I decided to join the Saddle Creek swim team...later to be known simply as the Creekers. I have no recollection as to whose idea it was to join first because, lets be honest, swim team was not 'cool'. The crazy thing was everyone in my circle of friends signed up. I never was the best swimmer. I put up a couple of decent 50 Free times (mainly when I wore a banana hammock and swim cap). For some reason I always swam IM. Backstroke was definitely my weakest stroke.

Watching the Olympics the last few nights has brought back a lot of great memories from those summers in the mid to late 80's. Like the asshole father of one of the kids on our swim team that challenged us teenagers to a race...in his speedo. Prick.

Qu'est-ce Que C'est?

2008-08-11T19:01:00.005-04:00

I actually have been watching quite a bit of the Olympics the last few days. Swimming to be specific. I made a HUGE mistake by not watching the 4 X 100 relay late last night. In case you have been under a rock and did not hear, Jason Lezak made up a full body length on Frenchman Alain Bernard to lead the US to Olympic Gold. The commentator's call will go down in history as one of the most memorable of all time.

What is so great about it? Let's see. This was the one event that Michael Phelps was not favored in his quest for 8 Golds. Jason Lezak, a 31 year old set the world record split in leading us to Gold. Oh, did I mention that Bernard was the former record holder in the 100 and said the the French were going to "CRUSH" us?

Qu'est-ce que c'est, Alain? That would be you having to stand next to Michael Phelps while listening to the Star Spangled Banner.

Damn, I am patriotic!

Daddy's Day Out

2008-08-09T21:12:00.006-04:00

I owe getting my start at State Farm to my good friend Chris Thomas. Chris is a State Farm agent just outside of Athens. We don't get together as often as we did before we had kids. We wanted to get our girls together prior to going to Disney next month. We met up at Chuck E Cheese today at the Mall of Ga. Funny how having kids changes things. No kids = Vegas. Kids = Disney.

My Party For '08

2008-08-09T20:33:00.007-04:00

Never paid much attention to politics. In High School, I would describe myself as having liberal beliefs. As soon as I went off to college something changed. For years and years I have described myself as conservative. I am not so sure anymore. I married a liberal, but I wouldn't say Laura has changed my core beliefs. My favorite band of all time is one of the most outspoken far-left acts out there. Michael Stipe has never convinced me to vote for Clinton, Gore or Obama though. Maybe becoming a dad has opened my eyes. I don't know.

I hereby declare my vote for a party I have held near and dear to my heart for many a years. A party that puts a Big Mac to shame. A party that makes one hell of a hot fudge cake. A party that supports an overweight boy with a black pompadour hairdo and red checkerboard overalls. Ladies and gentleman, I introduce to you Big Boy. Big Boy for President in '08.

Whiplash The Cowboy Monkey

2008-08-07T20:22:00.005-04:00

O.k. I have admitted my monkey, mascot, china doll, midget hangups previously. One addendum to this rule is Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey. I first heard of Whiplash when he visited Stegman Coliseum in the spring of 1994. My friend Jay and a few other friends had just returned home from the rodeo that night. Jay had an autographed picture of a 'monkey that rode around on the back of a collie'. I almost sharted from laughter when he told me how Whiplash ran around the ring like he was riding a Brahma bull. Evidently, Whiplash is named that for a reason. He is violently thrashed around on the back of the collie when he performs. The crazy thing is that little simian cowboy doesn't let go!!! Every now and then I will go online to see if he is coming to a rodeo near me. 14 years and still no luck. Whiplash please don't die before I get to see you perform.

See Whiplash in action:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IolGVHkv1vQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYNoQZ5djUA

Why I Am A Lover Not A Dancer

2008-08-07T19:52:00.008-04:00

Some good friends of mine from work got married last fall. This is my blackmail photo of the gentleman in the blue oxford. I will leave his name out as he currently holds a fake 'passed out on the floor' photo of me from the same wedding that has made the rounds at work. It has done wonders for my career.

Look at the facial expression and clinched fists at the waist! This is precisely why I don't like to dance at weddings. You look like a total a-hole! I mean seriously how many guys know how to dance? Don't give me that "just let loose" crap either. My sincere apologies to Wen. She really wanted to cut up the dance floor at Ev's wedding. I obliged, but I kept it simple. A few twirls and a dip. Meanwhile, Dan was molesting Laura.

Leelee - I think you were in the same class with the guy in the middle of the pic. Daniel Sergile, I believe.

And To Think Dolls Whose Eyes Roll Back In Their Head Bothered Me

2008-08-04T18:46:00.007-04:00

Those of you who know me know that I have more than one hang up. Never been a big fan of clowns, monkeys, mascots, or midgets. China dolls have always freaked me out. Their freaky eyelashes and glass eyes that roll back in their head. What nightmares are made of. I understand china dolls. They have their place in this universe for little girls or confused little boys to play with.

There is, however, something else I don't understand...

Meet Tommy. He is a timeout doll or a shyback kid as they like to call them across the pond. Good thing you can't see Tommy's face in the picture...because he doesn't have one. What the f*ck?! Whose bright idea was this? Were these created by a parent who wanted their children to model their timeout behavior after one of these cloth and polyfil freaks?! Oh, but it gets better. You can dress these little boogers up! Nascar fan, check. A Pirate, Arrr Matey! Even an Elf for the holidays. The options you see are endless...as are my nightmares.

The Games Kids Play

2008-08-03T20:58:00.005-04:00

As a kid I remember playing games like ghosts in the graveyard among others. What I don't understand is where a game like "Hot Piece of Butter" originates from. My friend Owen lived next door to brothers Marc and Mike. Their parents were really interesting. I believe their dad was Jamaican. He always had jazz music playing on his turntable when we were over. For a short time their grandmother lived with them and was either suffering from senile dementia or advanced alzheimers. She would peer out the window of their house while Owen and I would shoot hoop. She scared the living sh*t out of us. Crazy, crazy talk.

Anyways, Marc and Mike introduced Owen and I to a game they played in their unfinished basement. I have no clue if this made up game was a form of punishment from their father or if they were just sadists. They hung a leather weightlifting belt from a nail on the wall. Everyone was supposed to go hide while the sadist grabs the belt and proclaims "Hot Piece of Butter, Come and Get Your Supper!" What happened next is a little unclear. I can't recall if we had a safe area to reach or not, but basically the person wielding the leather belt tried to whip you with it.

As I type this I can hear Owen laughing. I challenge ANYONE to tell me of a more deranged game!

The Origin Of Bad Vibes

2008-08-03T16:42:00.004-04:00

It all started when I decided to pass on a Lake Sinclair trip with Anne, Evan and a host of others the summer after we graduated high school - 1990. To this day I am not sure why I chose not to go. When asked why I was not going I simply stated that I had bad vibes. Maybe I was pissed at someone going or maybe I had something better to do (channeling Dogwood Girl!) I guess it really doesn't matter as plenty of fun was had on subsequent trips to the lake. Cecil telling me not to be a dick. Bo getting under the covers with Owen ready to pounce if he moved an inch. A bout of the diarrhea that almost made Lee Lee throw up. The list goes on and on.

Evan, being the good friend that he is decided that I would never live it down. So what does he do you ask? Well, create a book starring me of course. It's title Bad Vibes. Absolute genius! It's level of importance to me is best summed up by letting you know what two books it has been wedged in between for years...REMARKS the first R.E.M bio and an autographed Rick Pitino/UK basketball book.

So here it begins. My first entry into the blogosphere. Special thanks to Dogwood Girl for the encouragement.